Let Go!! It’s not in your control

This is a subject I feel deeply connected to and would love to admit that I’ve mastered. I’ve had a rollercoaster ride, as we all have had, and on that rollercoaster, I sometimes squeel with delight as I reach a peak and realise I am unafraid and could go round for another circle of jerks, dips and tumbles, feeling my stomach drop with my eyes wide shut so as to avoid the reality that I cannot get off until the ride has come to a standstill. Still the adrenaline is pumping and I’m smiling and giggling nervously, but I know that in a few more minutes, I’ll get off with a sigh of relief and say, “I’ll never do THAT again”.

It’s often the case that we enter into the day with an idea of how things may take shape. Our will is strong and our intentions are set and our minds focused on the outcome.

Well, my day began with an early morning walk to the medical centre down the road from where I live. The air was crisp and it felt good to be up with the school run. I passed two school girls who were playing music and dancing on the sidewalk. I commented on their moves, we all laughed and I carried on walking up the hill. I was booked in for a round of blood tests to check various things, but mostly to do a liver function test. It had been suggested by a close friend of mine, Aurelie, to arrange for some IV Vitamin C drips to boost my immune system. We all know that chemo can be extremely unkind and deplete the body in various ways.  In order to have the treatment, you would need a blood test and a prescription. Once that is in order …you’re good to go.

Well, it’s not as simple as it sounds and there are all kinds of protocols that are put in place, all for a good reason, but not something I was willing to submit to. I had it fixated in my mind that unless I had at least 3 treatments before chemo starts, I wouldn’t cope. The doors were shutting in my face, not in an unfriendly way, but simply because it just isn’t the norm for a request such as this.

Frustrated, I sent Aurelie a voice note explaining my annoyance. Aurelie has had her own journey with cancer and has been such a solid source of strength, advice and support. My story is overshadowed by what she had to go through. Such a strong woman and fellow Scorpio sister. She broke it down for me, told me to embrace how I was feeling and the overall message that I received was to let go. She reminded me that everything I need in order to handle the chemo, I already have. The will, strength and most importantly my meditation and faith and that all of those things will get me through..not a Vitamin C drip. Those were exactly her words to me.

One of the areas that I’ve been so committed to is my diet. I changed to a vegan, mostly raw food diet as soon as I was diagnosed and cut out sugar, wheat, dairy and caffeine. I fasted once a week while I was on tour and have been taking every supplement that I researched was good for my condition. I am probably the healthiest I have ever been. A little on the thin side, but I’m feeling strong and vibrant. Aurelie’s advice kept coming and this is what she said…” Eat, my love …when does a woman ever get the free, clear moment to eat as much as they want! Get some delicious stuff in your body”. In other words….let go!!  Thank you my friend!

I got out the house, hopped on the bus to get to an appointment and because I was early I took a little wander. I came across a health food store called Nirvana Health and went inside. I asked for some advice, specifically relating to boosting my immune system before chemo and was led to a product I had never seen before. It’s called the LifeMel Range –  A range of unique food supplements from the beehive, made by bees fed with a mixture of specially prepared herbs. That’s the description in their advertising.

So my day began with a few rounds of blood tests, doors shutting in my face, some lovely counselling from my dear friend Aurelie and it ended in Nirvana:)  And now I have three little bottles of LifeMel which it says, “will enhance my immune system and alleviate side effects induced by chemotherapy”. How incredible is that???

I’m so glad I let go!!!

4 thoughts on “Let Go!! It’s not in your control

  1. Wow Taz, you sure have Earth Angel’s surrounding you and some Guardian ones too. Your walk each day, seems to bring you to a path, filled with exactly what is needed, to help you on this journey. Sending love, healing and light. You are so special and I know you are surrounded by beautiful, specials friends, who will lift and hold you up on your journey. All I can do each day is lift you up in prayer and know God is with you, protecting you and leading you, to where you need to be each day. Love you Tazzy and love your blog xx

    Liked by 1 person

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