Where does time go? I had every intention of trying to keep this blog going, but sometimes life takes you in another direction.
The last post for safespaces was 8 October 2019. I can’t even attempt to fill in the missing links or to make any kind of promises to keep this commitment, but I’ll show up when I can and I am truly grateful to see that this blog still has support and interest. Thank you for supporting me in my desire to share my journey.
There is a renewing energy taking place in my life which has been building over a long period of time. An expansion on so many levels that doesn’t always feel comfortable, but I’m surrendering to it every day and just doing my best. I know I’ve probably written these exact words in previous blogs. New beginnings…every day!! I’m so grateful.
An explosion of ideas has been taking form, which can sometimes overwhelm me to the point that I just have to step back and visit things as and when I have the energy to do so. Lockdown has taken its toll on many people I know, but for me, it’s been the most productive time.
Every day, I’m surrounded by pages and pages of notes containing ideas, instructions and lists of priorities. I make more notes on those notes and then I staple them together and add that on to the pile from the previous day. My main issue is that there just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day and I wish my organisational skills weren’t as useless as they are, but I’m making it work. I have my own crazy method I suppose.
Anyone who follows me here as well as on other platforms will know that my website went live last week for cool mindz. This has been a project of mine that I’ve really taken my time with.
I won’t lie, I’m exhausted!!! Even as I sit here, trying to connect, I could just fall back to sleep and shut myself off. I’m truly not made for social media and all that is expected of you. I understand its benefits and worth in the grand scheme of things, but boy do I struggle. In the last couple of days, I’ve been lucky to have friends who have found the time to talk me through the technicalities of a few things. I’m really not keen to be spending all day on my phone, especially when I chose to keep fairly to myself while going through treatment, but I’ll give it a go.
I have promised myself to try to prioritize my health and put myself first, and that’s a promise worth keeping considering the journey I’ve been on since I was diagnosed in August 2018. It’s going to be a bit of a battle though, as there is just so much that I want to do and the acceleration of time is making that extremely challenging.
So with that being said. For anyone who is battling through this period of lockdown, with all love and respect, I can’t recommend it enough that you try to look beyond your situation. Where there is darkness there is always light and even a small flicker of light is enough to get you to see your way. There is always value that you can add and an opportunity to reach out, but you probably won’t see that opening if you are only looking at the devastating circumstances of your life and the lives of others.
In the last couple of weeks I have become aware of friends who have loved ones that are starting their walk with cancer treatment and to them I say, just push through. You will get to the other side and when you do, you will experience life with more love and gratitude than you could ever have imagined. The twists and turns of life can really push you to grow and see things in a unique and different way.
On the way back from a walk, just a few days ago, I said out loud how grateful I was to have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I think I said, “thank you cancer, for coming into my life and showing me so much beauty.” I know to most people that seems absurd, but honestly, it’s the truth of what is real for me.
So as we are entering a new month, with renewing energy and a long road ahead that is mostly uncertain, I would say to you, go within, and connect to the things in your life that DO feel certain, and while you are doing that, put all of your love and energy into growing THAT instead of being pulled into the energy of this virus and all that it means.
As human beings, we are uncomfortable with the unknown, we want answers, we want our problems resolved immediately, we are impatient and intolerant and mostly move towards the negative aspects of our lives first. Look to the positive, look to the horizon, move towards that little flicker of light.
Be patient. Persevere. Go within. Express gratitude for what you DO have. Pray for others, find the joy and be safe.
You can find cool mindz on Instagram at cool_mindz, Twitter @MindzCool and get in touch on the cool mindz website at coolmindz.co.uk